Within the last few months I’ve attempted to do two things I’ve always dreamed of (well dreamed of most of my adult life anyway). Design an album for one of my long-time favorite bands and make The Art Directors Club’s Young Guns list.
I failed at both.
And it feels good.
It feels good because it’s the fear of failure more than the failure itself that tends to keep me (and most people) from attempting to do anything of significance. That fear like most others is a result of having apprehensions about the unknown. And well, it’s no longer unknown to me (not that I had a spotless record up to this point).
As my friend Jonce would say "I broke the ice". I tried and failed and came out of the other side completely unscathed (aside from being out a few hundred bucks). Nobody scoffed at my attempts, no tomatoes were thrown at my head and my wife didn’t even threaten to leave me when I told her I came up short (I do have to sleep on the couch for two weeks).
In several ways I value this more than had I achieved what I set out to do. I can loosen up and rest assured in the fact that I’m not made of glass and my world won’t come crashing down every time I don’t get the win.
So where do I go from here? I remember that this is all relatively meaningless in the grand scheme of things and I make more ill advised attempts at things the little voice in my head tells me I’m not qualified for.